I want to be like her

A discussion took place last night when sleeping should have been happening ( at least for the teary eyed five year old that beckoned me to her room ).  When I entered her room , I had no idea that I'd leave wishing I could be like my kindergartner.

It began a week or so ago. Mike and I found cute t-shirts that were made to look like scrub tops and had a stethoscope printed around the neckline-perfect for the children of an RN/Paramedic. We ordered a pink one for Mack and a white one for Mase. When the shirts arrived, Mack was excited to wear hers to school the next day and she did. At the end of the day, she reported that Erik had made her feel badly by continuously asking her why she was wearing a doctor's shirt. It didn't seem like a huge deal. We talked about telling Erik the next time that it really bothered her when he said these things and asking him to stop. Also, what to do if he didn't stop.

Back to last night- I ask a softly crying Mackenzie what's the matter. She tells me that it is still really bothering her that Erik had made her feel bad for wearing the shirt. When I asked her if she liked the shirt, she said she did like that shirt and it made her mad that Erik made her feel bad for wearing it. When I asked her if she wanted to wear the shirt again, she said " Yes. I want to wear that shirt tomorrow. And I want to tell Erik that it makes me feel bad when he says things about it. "  " Do you think you'll feel better after talking to him? " I asked. " Yes." she said, certainly. " Ok, Macky. I think you should talk to Erik tomorrow, then."

This was a tough moment for me. I was filled with pride at Mackenzie's way of handling the situation. It was beyond what I'd expect of most kids her age. Yet, I couldn't help not wanting her to wear it again. I wanted to spare her the hurt that could come from that but I also didn't want to rob her of this valuable experience and also, teach her to go against her intuition. We chatted a bit longer and the more I thought about the conversation, the more admiration I had for her. I went down stairs to find that said shirt was in the laundry, not yet washed, and the washer was being repaired by Mike ( that's another story for another time) . It wouldn't be possible for Mack to wear it.

Today, after school, I asked Mackenzie about Erik . She said " I told Erik how I felt sad when he said what he said and he just smiled at me and said 'I'm sorry.' " And that was that. The conversation moved onto something else.  But it got me thinking- how often do I make a bigger deal of things than they are simply because I want to guard my heart when , really, if I was more like Mackenzie,  I could spare myself a lot of worry. To be honest, it's more than it needs to be.

This little girl of ours is amazing. I don't know where life will take her , but whatever she does, I know with out a doubt that she will have a positive impact on those around her. Just like she does now.