Unimaginable

My heart continues to beat. My children play peacefully together in the other room and I can hear Mason giggling at Mackenzie's antics. I breath in and breath out, willing the tears to stay away. I know that if Mack sees them, she will want to know what's wrong and I just can't muster the brain power to come up with a logical excuse. But with my every effort I will spare her. I will preserve her innocence. I will let her little heart rest on the idea that the world is safe, full of good people -"friends" , as is everyone in her preschool class. I swallow my tears, pushing them down and keep moving.

But if I let my mind wander. If it sneaks to the darkest region of my brain. If ,for one second, I place myself in the shoes of those parents who lost their children in a horrific shooting at school, my heart might continue beating but only in broken fragments. My mind will continue to try and figure out WHY even when all I want is for it to shut down... If it were my child, I wouldn't have the strength to life one foot and place it in front of the other. What if it were my children.....

Someone took those kids. Took their innocence, took their freedom. Took their lives. And I cannot force myself to imagine what that pain is like. And though I know that this blog may go unread by anyone affected by this unimaginable tragedy, I write this for them. Not to say I understand. I can't. I pray I never have to. But to let them know that, as a parent- as a human being- as someone who grew my precious babies with in my body, hoping nothing but the very fullest lives for them, that I'm so, so sorry. And that , while your babies were robbed from you, I will hold mine a little tighter, just like you would do if you could. I pray for peace for you. I pray that memory of your children will live forever in the hearts of those who loved them and in the hearts of those of us who never knew th,but that they may serve as a reminder of how quickly life can change.

It's about time!

Finally! Some SNOW! We haven't seen much of the white stuff since early Novemember. Even better, it's been snowing buckets in the mountains ( the high country as we Coloradoans call it) for over a week now! This morning Aspen got 2 feet in two hours! Bring it on!

In High Demand

Mike has been busy these days! Not only was he asked to give a lecture to the CU nursing students on burn treatment and tapped to work as interim charge nurse when one of the full timer charges isn't on ,but he's also been asked to interview for several positions in or around the hospital, most exciting is the trauma coordinator working with the ER and the Burn ICU to coordinate care for the patients. Add to it that he just finished up another semester in his master's degree plus his full time job at the hospital  and you've got one busy guy! Hopefully we'll have news about good changes coming soon!  I am so proud of Mike and how far he's stretched toward reaching his professional goals. It seems that he gets positive feed back from his co-workers and patients weekly for the care he gives. We all know that I am crazy in love with him as a husband and father. It's nice to see him attaining personal goals as well.

The Truffle girls

My mom came over to make fudge truffles. It was a several day project but the end result was yummy! Mackenzie was the assistant and was a big help! The two of them had a lot of fun together and Mack was sure to dole out truffles for everyone afterwords.

Dip it, Macky! She's wearing one of the
aprons Grams made her

Yum!

Blueberry connection

I fed Mason blueberries for breakfast this morning . He ate them as I made pancakes for Mike and Mack ( and for him, too. They are his favorite) . He made such a mess and as I snapped pictures of him, I smiled, remembering taking similar pictures of Mack eating blueberries at around the same age. When I uploaded the pics, I went hunting for Mack's version. Coincidentally, I took the picture of her exactly 4 years to the day prior to Mason's!

Lights

Mike has to work both Christmas eve and Christmas night so we've been trying to squeeze in our traditions before then. After dinner tonight, Mack opened her Christmas pajamas , she and Mason dressed in their new Jammie's and we piled into the car to seek out Christmas lights and ice cream! Ellie joined us and we found some great spectacles .

Mr. Handsome

Mason boy wearing the hat GG made him before he was born.